Do you ever feel like running far, far, away. To a place that nobody entails?
Do you feel like stopping for a while but never settle in one place?
Do you feel lost in places in your head that might not even exist? 
& even if it does, will you ever be able to witness that peace?

Lately, I've been feeling a lot at ease,
thinking about everywhere I'll be.
But a part of me wonders,
What are the odds of what you see being the best? What are the odds that the next one that awaits isn't better? The chase never ends.

That's how, what we feel lies not just in present or future, 
we are always somewhere amidst those tenses.
When we travel, don't we already start planning for our next trip?
Tell me if that enhances the enjoyment or do you start wondering, will you ever feel THIS IS IT?

I want to feel content & stop the chase,
the feeling that "better than this" exists will always persist,
Will I ever find a Home again in a place?
Perhaps never, as I return to myself every night, I remember,
The HOME is within me...

• 

 Dear Body & Soul,

I am sorry.

Sorry to be naive enough to have a utopian ideology in my head where being fit
was all about zero figure, a jawline & thigh gaps.

Moments where I doubted myself & checked twice in the mirror 
just to ensure the belly didn't bulge out of my tee.

Being so shallow, that I could only smile with lipstick on.
Being so kind to others that I forgot to be kind to self.

I am sorry, My Body & My Soul as I've treated you more like a material 
that needs approval from others than a part of myself.
How I keep forgetting that beauty lies within myself 
& none of the Mac or Fair'n'Lovely products will ever make me happier.

So yes, I've decided to love you & take care of you as you're a part of me than this world's.
Fat or lean, fair or dark, tall or short, It's just me in love with myself, again 🙂